I am officially the most disgusting, despicable, heaping pile of worthless shit excuse of a person. Nothing will ever make what I just did okay. Nothing will ever fix the damage I just caused. It’s killing me inside more than you’ll ever know. The thought that I might just have ruined your life over this will haunt me for the rest of mine. And even though it doesn’t help one goddamn bit, know that I do love you and I’ll be with you no matter what.
Walked to the gas station, and on the way back home a school bus passed me by. As it was passing, my mind imagined me stepping out in front of it. I couldn’t help but smile. A bus going 45 to 50 miles an hour down a road without a second to brake before it takes me with it and the relief it would bring. The image came and went as fast the bus did. I obviously need help.
Gonna get back into playing my bass and maybe reteaching myself the trombone.
What does this mean?
That, my friend, is exactly the question you have to ask.
It means that this is one of the best ways to pile up rocks and not have them fall down for a long time.
Now this is the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky,
And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth forward and back;
For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.
Wash daily from nose tip to tail tip; drink deeply, but never too deep;
And remember the night is for hunting and forget not the day is for sleep.
The jackal may follow the tiger, but, cub, when thy whiskers are grown,
Remember the wolf is a hunter—go forth and get food of thy own.
Keep peace with the lords of the jungle, the tiger, the panther, the bear;
And trouble not Hathi the Silent, and mock not the boar in his lair.
When pack meets with pack in the jungle, and neither will go from the trail,
Lie down till the leaders have spoken; it may be fair words shall prevail.
When ye fight with a wolf of the pack ye must fight him alone and afar,
Lest others take part in the quarrel and the pack is diminished by war
Thought I was starting to feel better, but I feel worse now than ever. This has been a long, difficult day.